Wednesday 23rd April

Today was my turn to direct and create a scene. A while ago, i chose to lead the canteen scene because i had a really clear idea of how i wanted it. I also wanted to direct this scene because I dont have a very big part in the show and so wanted to lead a key scene.
I started from basics and looked at the original Much Ado script. Near the end, there is an interesting song that Balthazaar sings at Heros tomb. It has some slightly gothic and ghostly lyrics that I thought could work with Clauidos spiritual and psychological turmoil. I then worte a short script that can easily be extended that gives a brief insight into the other characters lives like Bernadette and Beatrice and we establish that Claudio isnt all there in the head.
The rehearsal went really well. Unfortunately, Meg, Becca and Jessy were missing which meant there were only four of us present at the rehearsal. This didnt matter though because we had enough people to fill in for the missing cast members and we did this quickly and professionally which meant we got a lot done.
Rose worked with us to help choreograph the "song" bit because we had the idea of using the Motif we created in Alex's workshop but we didnt really know how we could develop it. I think it also helped to have an outside eye. Because rose isnt as familiar with the concept as we are, it was good to ave someone simplify it so that the audience can understand. For a Video of the scene we created, Please see Nicoles Blog.
Next lesson we are going to catch the missing people up on what we did today and start on georges scene.

Tuesday the 22nd April

Today was the first day back after easter and everyone was really eager to get going again which was comforting. I think it was good to have the break because everyone has had time to prepare and have come back with really good ideas.
We created a timetable of who was leading which day/rehearsal before we broke up for easter so we followed that to see what we were doing. There was a bit of a problem because Jessy is ill at the moment with kidney problems so she wasnt in so we had to change our plan slightly. Instead, Nicole lead the rehearsal and we started to explore transitions between scenes using movement and script (from the workshop with Alex). Nicole had really clear and interesting ideas. She knew exactly what she wanted and she came prepared. She also explained how she wanted to experiment with ribbons and manipulating claudio like a puppet using these ribbons.
We all worked really well as a team today and gave input to aid Nicoles rehearsal.
Tomorrow is MY rehearsal and we will be doing the canteen scene which I have scripted and researched.

wednesday 9th april

sorry its so late but been busy.

So this 10-3 rehearsal was really useful and we got so much done. It really helped that we came to the rehearsal with all of our research because it meant that we could immediately get up and start workshopping which is exactly what we did.

We started by sharing the research that we had gathered and then shared ideas relating to the research or just a new general idea. There were plenty of fresh ideas and we all had equal input. It was also really good because everyone present (we were missing becca and jess) was really enthusiastic and raring to go which made the rehearsal so much easier.

Then we went and started to fully explore the spaces we were going to use. We knew we could do this in advance as it was half term so we knew we could take advantage of it being completely empty. However, we were slightly restricted as the security/cleaners got a bit arsey so we couldnt use the canteen. We also divided up the piece into scenes that we could each direct individually as this will aid our final devising grade and it also means we each get equal control over the piece and also a go at directing if you hadnt done it before.

After a while we started to wonder what we could do with just the people present so we decided to thicken out a scene we had already briefly plotted. This was the Bingo scene and we had already experimented with contrasting music, 40s dance and also singing for this bit but we still didnt feel like it was enough. Megan had researched the Harmonies for the song that we were going to sing which is "friends on the other side" from Disneys The princess and the frog. So we all learnt our separate parts. As this was Megans directed section, she taught beth and i some simple choreography and she instructed george on how he should portray his character in this moment. I think Meg was a really good director because she clearly knew what she wanted and she knew it well enough to bend it and shape it around us and our skills.

I think this rehearsal was one of the best ones we have ever had because we got so much done and it was really creative and fresh and imaginative and I hope that this will continue in all the rehearsals to come.

A little experiment - WEBSITE 3 http://www.parksideinc.org/mental-health-assessment

Now this site looked more like what i was looking for. It looks like an actual real life clinic so it is bound to be more reliable than others. There were a few different "screenings" as they called them that you could take online including bi-polar disorder, drinking disorder and general anxiety disorder tests but i selected a different drop box which offered the option "i feel up and down"....this is often true, so i thought, just go with it.
It begun by asking good, data questions like gender, age, marital status, ethnicity etc. Already i could tell that this one was going to give me a better answer than the others. It then asked if i had ever been treated for any disorder in the past...no. Then it asked really good questions that you couldnt determine the outcome of like "have you ever been hyper and so happy that your friends didnt think you were your usual self and you have got into trouble?" This is starting to get cool...
Because i had clicked that i often feel up and down at the beginning of the test, the whole evaluation was based on bipolar disorder which is what they assumed the problem must be. Here are my results:

And I agree, im not bi-polar, i just get hyper occasionally.

Bipolar Disorder

Your screening results are not consistent with symptoms of bipolar disorder. However, if you are still concerned and think you may need help, see a clinician or a mental health professional for a complete evaluation.

A little experiment - WEBSITE 2 http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/interactive/interactivetests/goldberg.php

The 2nd one i had a go at was on a much more professional site. It was a multiple choice test, the choices went as follows : Not at all, only slightly, partly, quite a lot, a lot and to a great extent. Im not going to lie, i answered only slightly to most of the questions, mostly because they were way more professional than the previous site and i needed to answer honestly for the test to be accurate and fair. Some of the questions included: I find it hard to make decisions (to which i answered a lot, those who really know me will understand), I often feel confined or imprisoned (not at all), I either sleep too much or too little (only slightly) and then, out of nowhere comes "i often wonder HOW i would commit suicide" (with that exact font growth) ....that escalated quickly...and dont worry, i answered not at all.  

Here are my results: 

Goldberg's depression test You have reached level 13 on the Goldberg scale.  0 - 9 Depression unlikely 21 - 35 Minor to moderate depression 10 - 17 Possibly minor depression 36 - 53 Moderate to severe depression 18 - 21 On the verge of depression 54+ Severe depression

You have some symptoms of depression. Some of these symptoms normally occur in many people. It is difficult to say whether you will need treatment or not, but it is worth speaking to your doctor about how you feel.

Depression is a disease like any other disease, and it can be treated very effectively. Recognising that you are suffering from depression is the first positive step. If you are depressed, you should arrange to see your doctor to talk about the illness right away. You may also want to raise the issue with your friends and family. You should look for support from these people you until you get well. Anyone can suffer from depression, and the symptoms can vary from person to person. Treatments, including medication and psychotherapy, have a very high success rate.

Although this test felt way more reliable than the last, I still felt that it was still a bit fixed. Mostly because almost everyone who takes the test is bound to answer negatively for at least one question for one reason or another whether its to do with sleep or food or whether you are just having an off day. all im saying is basically everyone has down feelings, that doesnt make you a depressive person. next time i think i will try a psychiatric test rather than a depression one, just to see how different they are.  

A little experiment - WEBSITE 1 WWW.DEPRESSEDTEST.COM

I wanted to do a few little online experiments just to see how many of us can be classed as depressed. I chose to do this as there is a huge increase in teen depression but how many of them are just saying they are depressed and how many are telling the truth.

I took a number of online depression tests to see if i qualified as a depressive. The first was on what looked like a fairly amateur site. There were varying questions about how i sleep and if i had lost weight (and a couple about my sex drive but lets not go into that). There were some that were a bit unanswerable: Do you have any delusions? Well a delusion to one person might not be to another. I talk to myself ALL the time, is that a delusion?? There were also ones that were going to give you an obvious answer like "Do you often feel that life is not worth living?"....well personally, no..DUH!!?  There were some that i didnt see any relevence to whatsoever like "which hemisphere do you live in?" There were better questions like had i recently gone through a trauma and whether i was a confident person or not. After I had completed the test, it popped up with a box saying that the result was not a professional medical opinion and that it was not to be held responsible for any damage to me after taking the test.....okay... anyway here are my (non-professional) results:

Here Are Your Scores:

Disorder	Your Score
Major Depression:	Very Slight
Dysthymia:	Slight-Moderate
Bipolar Disorder:	Slight-Moderate
Cyclothymia:	Very High
Seasonal Affective Disorder:	Slight-Moderate
Postpartum Depression:	N/A

 I dont agree with the idea that i could have major depression... i am an incredibly chirpy person and i answered honestly to every question....even the sex ones.... So, so far; depressed teen:1 - happy teen: 0

Dictionary definitions of the 5 stages of grief - acceptance

ac·cept·ance

  [ak-sep-tuhns]  Show IPA

noun

1.

the act of taking or receiving something offered.

2.

favorable reception; approval; favor.

3.

the act of assenting or believing: acceptance of a theory.

4.

the fact or state of being accepted or acceptable.

5.

acceptation (  def 1 ) .

(PLEASE NOTE: there really wasnt very much of relevance on the acceptance dictionary definition)

Dictionary definitions of the 5 stages of grief - Depression

de·pres·sion

  [dih-presh-uhn]  Show IPA

noun

1.

the act of depressing.

2.

the state of being depressed.

3.

a depressed or sunken place or part; an area lower than the surrounding surface.

4.

sadness; gloom; dejection.

5.

Psychiatry. a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and moreprolonged than that warranted by any objective reason. Compare clinical depression.

Synonyms 
4. discouragement, despondency.

— n
1.	the act of depressing or state of being depressed
2.	a depressed or sunken place or area
3.	a mental disorder characterized by extreme gloom, feelings of inadequacy, and inability to concentrate
4.	pathol  an abnormal lowering of the rate of any physiological activity or function, such as respiration
5.	an economic condition characterized by substantial and protracted unemployment, low output andinvestment, etc; slump
6.	meteorol cyclone , Also called: low  a large body of rotating and rising air below normal atmosphericpressure, which often brings rain
7.	Compare elevation (esp in surveying and astronomy) the angular distance of an object, celestial body,etc, below the horizontal plane through the point of observation

Dictionary definitions of the 5 stages of grief - bargaining

bar·gain

  [bahr-guhn]  Show IPA

noun

1.

an advantageous purchase, especially one acquired at less than 
the usual cost: The sale offeredbargains galore.

2.

an agreement between parties settling what each shall give and take 
or perform and receive in atransaction.

3.

such an agreement as affecting one of the parties: a losing bargain.

4.

something acquired by bargaining.

5.

Informal. an agreeable person, especially one who causes no trouble 
or difficulty (usually used innegative constructions): His boss is no bargain.

verb (used without object)

6.

to discuss the terms of a bargain; haggle; negotiate.

7.

to come to an agreement; make a bargain:

Synonyms 
2. stipulation, arrangement, transaction. agreement. 

6. trade. 7. contract, covenant.

— n
1.	an agreement or contract establishing what each party will  give, receive, or perform in a transactionbetween them
2.	something acquired or received in such an agreement
3.	( US )
	a. something bought or offered at a low price: a bargain at an auction
	b. ( as modifier ): a bargain price
4.	into the bargain , in the bargain  in excess of what has  been stipulated; besides
5.	make a bargain , strike a bargain  to agree on terms
— vb
6.	( intr ) to negotiate the terms of an agreement, transaction, etc
7.	( tr ) to exchange, as in a bargain
8.	to arrive at (an agreement or settlement)

Dictionary Definitions of the 5 stages of grief - Anger

an·ger

  [ang-ger]  Show IPA

noun

1.

a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire.

2.

Chiefly British Dialect . pain or smart, as of a sore.

3.

Obsolete . grief; trouble.

verb (used with object)

4.

to arouse anger or wrath in.

5.

Chiefly British Dialect . to cause to smart; inflame.

Synonyms 
1. resentment, exasperation; choler, bile, spleen. Anger, fury, 
indignation, rage imply deep and strongfeelings aroused by injury, 
injustice, wrong, etc. Anger is the general term for a sudden violent 
displeasure:a burst of 
anger. Indignation implies deep and justified anger: indignation at 
cruelty or against corruption.Rage is vehement anger: rage at being 
frustrated. Fury is rage so great that it resembles insanity: the fury
 ofan outraged lover. 4. displease, vex, irritate, exasperate, 
infuriate, enrage, incense, madden.

— n
1.	a feeling of great annoyance or antagonism as the result of some real or supposed grievance; rage;wrath
— vb
2.	( tr ) to make angry; enrage
[C12: from Old Norse angr  grief; related to Old English enge,  Old High German engi  narrow, Latin angere to strangle]

Dictionary definitions of the 5 stages of grief - denial

de·ni·al

  [dih-nahy-uhl]  Show IPA

noun

1.

an assertion that something said, believed, alleged, etc., is false: 
Despite his denials, we knew he hadtaken the purse. The politician issued 
a denial of his opponent's charges.

2.

refusal to believe a doctrine, theory, or the like.

3.

disbelief in the existence or reality of a thing.

4.

the refusal to satisfy a claim, request, desire, etc., or the refusal 
of a person making it.

5.

refusal to recognize or acknowledge; a disowning or disavowal: 
the traitor's denial of his country; Peter'sdenial of Christ.

Synonyms 
1. disavowal, disclaimer, repudiation.

Antonyms 
1. admission, acknowledgment, confession.

— n
1.	a refusal to agree or comply with a statement; contradiction
2.	the rejection of the truth of a proposition, doctrine, etc: a  denial of God's existence
3.	a negative reply; rejection of a request
4.	a refusal to acknowledge; renunciation; disavowal: a denial of one's leader
5.	See also defence mechanism a psychological process by which painful truths  are not admitted into anindividual's consciousness
6.	abstinence; self-denial